We apologise.

Heard this one before?

A typical day:

(1) Surrey Hills. Train towards the city was cancelled. Announcement was made after the supposed time of departure.
(2) One platform sign read "ALL TRAINS DEPART FROM CENTRE PLATFORMS". Then a Lilydale train stopped there.
(3) Repeat (1), this time at Richmond Station.
(4) On the train, heading towards South Yarra. Automatic on-board voiceover announces "Approaching Richmond..." All the best for the blind. Perhaps Connex will apologise in Braille.